There's been a lot of horrific anti-transgender hate in the news recently, and I do not want to re-traumatise anyone by repeating the filth that has been said, or even giving news outlets the clicks by linking to it. Trans people already know who hates them and wishes them harm, so let's move on from that swiftly.
What I want to think about today is this idea of 'deception'; the notion that, as the excellent writer/biologist Julia Serano and comedian Amy Dentata have described it, transgender people are uniquely and malevolently deceptive.
It seems like such an easy argument to dismiss and yet it persists, as if no other person or group in the history of the universe ever acted in a way to hide something about themselves in order to be safe.
So I'll start. Here are ways in which I'M deceptive.
I'm 5'2". Sometimes I will wear high heels which make me look taller.
I am pale as f***. Sometimes I wear blusher.
I have a big forehead. Sometimes I have a fringe that hides it.
I have cellulite. I put endless moisturisers on my thighs and bum that probably do nothing at all to get rid of it, and otherwise wear lots of leggings, tights and trousers that make my junk look better.
I'm a natural brunette. I have dyed my hair every colour of the rainbow in the past. When it starts going grey, I'll probably start doing that again.
My breasts are lopsided. I wear padded bras to disguise this fact.
I'm short sighted. I wear contact lenses to correct this.
I'm painfully middle class and privileged. But sometimes I'll wear scuffed up jeans and £1 trainers because they're comfy. This could mean I'm "slumming it" and insulting those who have no choice but to wear those items.
I'm female. But sometimes I'll wear shapeless clothing and no bra so that my silhouette could belong to any gender.
I'm a complete softy. But I've shoved 18-stone men who are 6ft tall into a wall using nothing other than my own body power.
I hate violence. But I play a sport that probably involves more violence than rugby, American football or ice hockey, and I love it.
If I'm walking alone at night, I'll walk slowly and swagger to show I'm not intimidated, and pull my hoodie up so no one who sees me knows who I am - or if I'm someone they should fear. (Why? Because I'm 5'2", and female.)
I've never thrown a punch in my life, but I've been kicked, slapped, punched, bitten, headbutted, had my hair pulled and my skin gouged (most of that from working in care!)
I am generally peaceful and non-violent but I take a medication called anti-psychotics, and I take a dosage that is often only reserved for mental health patients who have to stay permanently or temporarily in institutions, for their own safety.
I love animals but I like my house clean and tidy.
I love children in small doses but I never want to have any children of my own.
I have Hindu imagery all over my house but I think organised religion is generally a source of trouble, confusion and hatred in this world and I am at best agnostic.
So tell me.
Does any of this make me 'deceptive'?
Technically, I'm sure it does.
Can ANYONE OUT THERE claim that they are not guilty of any of these, all of these, more than this, MUCH more than this?
I very much doubt it.
And do any of these things, many of them done for my own safety, sanity or privacy, mean I deserve to be met with violence and hatred?
Really?
DO ANY OF THEM MEAN I DESERVE TO DIE?
Didn't think so.
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